I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
