You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
