There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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