Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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