I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
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He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
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Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize