I wish I could teleport
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
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