bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
