I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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