Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I need a beard to bite.
Randomize
