not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
