Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
