So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
