If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
