you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I look better un-naked...
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
