1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
This show inspires me to have sex in space
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
