you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
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