Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
