yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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