Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Randomize
