i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
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