you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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