and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
