now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
and she was petting her beer can
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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