I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Are we in a gay sports bar?
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
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