Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
50% drunk capacity currently
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Randomize