I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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