We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
