Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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