I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
