is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
