I love black thongs
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
