Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
