Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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