I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
She announced her abortion via fbk
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
