Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
