grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
