i think i have two assholes
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize
