Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
