There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
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