im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
its not stalking. its research.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
