So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize