Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
so that wasnt chicken after all
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize