fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Randomize
