the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize