So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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