At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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