no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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