Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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