I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Green mimosas i think yes
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Randomize