dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
