We won't sleep together?
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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