I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
