Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
