i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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