dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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