Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Randomize
