Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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