I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
