Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
