Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
