I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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