This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
my poor anus
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize