Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh god was she eating orange peels again
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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