wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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