Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
