Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
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