I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Randomize
