I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize