What tipped you off? The sombrero?
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
