I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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