don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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