he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Randomize
