Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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