She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
no, he came in my armpit
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
