What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize